Thursday, September 30, 2010

A Hair Raising Tale

No, it's not Confession Friday. It's just the kind of day I'm having. :)

It's the last day of September. What in the world happened to September?? And why do I have the feeling that I'm going to be asking that question for the rest of my life? Haha. So it occurred to me about halfway through preparing this blogpost that I had a total dud on my hands. A sizzling stinker. A big fat floundering flopper. I had plans to show you the way that I color my hair at home. Doesn't that sound totally interesting? 

I knew from the get-go that this was going to be borderline ridiculous to say the least. I fully anticipated writing a self-depricating post for all of us mamas on a budget who have to settle on the little luxuries in life sometimes. And I was fully willing to make a total idiot out of myself if it would help someone else out.

But have you ever tried taking pictures of yourself with your hands full of hair color? Or with tin foil wrapped around a comb while you're balancing a hair brush and little clippies and trying to beat the clock because your kid is asleep and if she wakes up anytime soon you'll then have goopy hands and half of your hair colored and a camera teetering on the edge of the sink and a REALLY. BIG. STINKIN. MESS? (Deep breath, Adrien.) Yeah, so, it was a terrible idea. 

Do you wanna see some pictures? :)

First of all, I learned that it's humanly impossible to take a photo of the top of your own head.

Shall we try a fourth time?

Ay, yi, yi. Apparently I was born with arms several inches too short for this task. If you paste all of the pictures together, you might get a shot of my entire head! I knew right off the bat that this was an ominous sign, but something in my brain told me to keep pressing forward. 

I mixed up my color and slapped on my gloves. I grabbed my comb and sectioned my hair. And then I realized that there was going to be no way possible for me to show you how I apply my color, because there was no way possible for me to color my hair and take a picture of it at the same time. But I am my father's child, and so instead of just throwing in the towel and doing things the right way...I stubbornly decided to try the one-handed approach.


"Um, Adrien, honey, we can't see..."

", no, you don't understand...."

Hahaha, I just realized that this picture is completely upside down, and I have no clue how that could have even happened. Let's just say that it's easy to laugh about it now, but at the time I had a sore arm, running hair color, and I was probably mumbling some not so nice things under my "gosh darn it!" :)

And would you believe Evelyn decided to wake up right at this moment? Nap time has become an anomaly around here, lately. So now I have a child hanging around my ankles, and I'm getting flashes forward of what my hair is going to look like when this is all said and done. I finally decided to just give up on taking any pictures and to hurry and finish the job. I was totally over it. 

And this is what happens when you hurry through a coloring job. Let's just skip the "which icebox leftover are you?" references and go straight for the "how many stations do you get on that thing?" Oh my. I was terrified of what this mess was going to wash out to be. 

Ordinarily I just say, "Eh, hair is hair." I don't usually get too bent out of shape over things like that. But knowing that I could go into labor at any second...without time to rectify the situation...and that I would be in pictures that I would look at for the rest of my life...well, let's just say I got more and more nervous with each passing minute that this junk was on my head. 

Luckily, it didn't turn out so bad. Just a couple of little splotches here and there. :) But I didn't end up looking like a total skunk head, so that's good. Oh yes, I guess I should show you. What how-to (or how not-to!) would be complete without the final product?

Whew! Dodged a bullet, I think. So what is the point of this whole post? Well, I guess I don't really know. If you've read this far, I'm terribly sorry for wasting a few minutes of your time, haha. I know that I definitely learned through this whole experience that there are some things that God just didn't intend for us to share. Certain things just need to be done in the privacy of our own homes where no one else is subjected to our ridiculousness. He taught me that today, and I'm going to carry that lesson with me for as long as I live. 

So the next time I get a crazy idea like "How to change a diaper," or "How to clip your toenails," I will confidently and quickly say, "Er...I think I'll Pass." 


Meagan said...

I just want to say that I LOVE reading your posts everyday!! You have way more courage than I do...I would never trust myself with coloring my own hair!

And if it matters at all...I think the final product turned out good! :)

Ashley N. said...

You are too funny, Adrien! I love your posts!

Anonymous said...

if it means you actually trying to take pictures while changing a poopy diaper, then please, post on it!!

Adrien said...

Thanks, girls. :) When life hands you lemons, right? Better to make fun of yourself and move on! Geez. :D

Stephanie, that's exactly what I meant which is precisely the reason why it will NEVER happen, haha. Yikes!


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