Sunday, October 17, 2010

How to Pack a Hospital Bag

Go into false labor, make a mad dash around the house trying to find all of the junk you need to sustain life for a few days, zip 'er up, and you're done! Easy peasy.



Well, gee. I thought this was it. I even started a blog post documenting our labor...wait, hold on...yeouch. Still...having...contractions. But according to the nurse on the phone we shouldn't come in until I can't sleep through them. (I told her I hadn't tried...she said to try.) It's a little after midnight now, and I've been having contractions since about 9:30pm. They are steady and frequent; about 45 seconds to a minute long, and 3-4 minutes apart. I'm already dilated and effaced. According to everything I've read tonight I should be going to the hospital, but nursey-poo says to stay put.

"No need for us to bring you in and start an IV, only to have your contractions fizzle out," she said. And so I thanked her, to her face...to her phone-face...you know what I mean. But in my head I was thinking, "Have you ever birthed a child, lady??" Hehe. Boy am I glad we didn't call our parents. We would have had everyone in a tizzy!

Wait...here comes another one. Seriously. If this is false labor, it is a cruel trick of God's created nature. Dear contractions, if you are not going to produce a baby for me this evening, then you really just need to go away. Thanks.

Eww...kissy-face! It's how we get into these *blessed* messes in the first place!

I had plans to type what could have been an amusing little blog about going on my last date night with Eric before I become a mommy of two. I was going to share with you the special ways that we communicate to keep our marriage healthy and fun. Like many times before, my plans were thwarted, this time when we arrived home after picking up our first baby girl from her grandparent's house and all of this contraction action started. So maybe I'll just save it for another day.

But I will say this: nights like tonight remind me of why I married Eric J. Robert. I can tell he gets so excited about all of this baby stuff, and I think it's the cutest. In a VERY manly sort of way, you know. I just feel bad that we decided he should probably take a quick shower, finish cleaning out the car, and pack his bags all in under thirty minutes, only to be told to go back to bed. Sorry, dear. My body is a trickster!

So to Eric I would like to say, thank you so much for taking me out for a lovely dinner and for humoring me when I drug you around to sniff candles and lotion at the mall. Thank you for not complaining one little bit when I asked you to "smell this!" half a dozen times. Thank you for holding my hand and for telling me I looked pretty even though I felt as big as a house. You're a good guy.

English nerd alert!

To say that I've had about 20 contractions since I started typing this would not be an exaggeration at all. Anyone know how long this can go on? And if this turns out to be real labor...watch out phone nurse! I better not miss my stinkin' epidural! I'm just kidding. I know that they are much wiser than me in this department. But I'm finally winding down from all of the pre-game excitement from earlier, and I'd like to get some rest. What was it she said about not being able to sleep through the contractions? Is this something I can just take Tylenol for and hope the pain wears off by morning? :)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

We are ready to assist when the time comes for you to go to the hospital.

Love
Grandma & Grandpa Robert

Keeping Up With the Roscow's said...

I know all about that "sleeping" through contractions idea. The day/night before Luke was born, I was having pretty intense contractions. I called my mom (since I had no idea what to do)at 8:00 p.m. She told me to go to sleep and if I woke up in the middle of the night with the contractions, hence not being able to sleep through them that it was time to go the hospital. Sure enough, woke up at 12:00 a.m. & could not even attempt to sleep. Called the doctor, he told me it was time to come in. Attempted a shower, couldn't even handle that (went to hospital with half my hair wet and eye liner on one eye) yeah..I envy women who get induced & get to do their hair & make-up prior to giving birth. Got to the hosptial at 3:00 a.m. & Luke arrived at 8:02 a.m!! So there is hope that Gracie will be here any minute :)

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