Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Just Breathe

Some days I need to remind myself that moss covered oak-lined avenues still exist, and one day Eric and I will be here again.

Some days I need to know I'm not going anywhere. No diaper bags to pack. No double checking for diapers and pacifiers and sippy cups. No lugging around a pumpkin seat. No wrestling a one year old into matching clothes and coat. No stress of wondering if my newborn will make it from point A to point B in the car without throwing a fit, or strategically coordinating last minute feedings and diaper changes to "fill up the baby tank."

Some days I need to have breakfast for dinner and ice cream strawberry shortcakes for dessert. I need to wake up the next morning and drink my orange juice from a fancy glass water goblet. I need to sit on the couch and watch cartoons with my kid.

Some days the most I want to do is wait for the UPS man to deliver the last minute dollhouse I ordered for Christmas. I want to wait until the kids drift off to slumberland at nap time so I can sneak downstairs and stare at their hidden Christmas presents...to arrange them just so...to imagine the excitement my toddler will have when she sees her new kitchen set and baby stroller and grocery cart.

Some days I need to hold my baby close and talk softly and sweetly. To watch her open her little mouth and try so hard to make sound come out. To see her wide-eyed reaction when sound does come out. I need to worry less about internet comings and goings, and more about the fact that my daughter's newborn smell is slowly fading away.

Some days I need to take a step back from traditions and just be. Even elves named Moe need a mental health day now and then. I need to play catch up from crazier days and get my home back in order...and enjoy watching it slowly transform from disheveled to tidy, knowing that it will only stay that way for about 15 minutes before hurricane Evie blows through.

Some days I need to be there for my husband. To wear something other than t-shirts and pajamas. To remind him of how much he means to me, and to thank him for allowing me to stay home with my babies. I need to concede and make his favorite things for dinner...even if they're totally not my favorite things. I need to put my mothering role aside for a little while and be a fully attentive wife.

Some days I need to close the laptop once and for all and not open it for the rest of the day. To not worry about tracking down and editing pictures for a blog post. To just let the words speak for themselves.

I need my battery recharged. I need to reset my coordinates and shoot for my true north. Today I need to plan another magic carpet ride and take my girls on a imaginative adventure. I'm not burned out...I just need to breathe.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Adrien,
Thanks for being the wonderful mother for our grandchildren. Joan and I are very proud of the home you have created for them. Keep that creative mind of yours dreaming of the next adventure you will be taking your daughters on. Thanks again.

Your Father-in-Law
Greg

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