Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Robert, Party of One

It was the big night. The night I had been waiting many weeks for. I was going to throw myself a little party - a wrapping party, to be exact. While Eric took the girls out of the house for a couple of hours, I would gather all of their Christmas gifts and get them ready for Christmas morning. I was positively giddy inside just thinking of getting one whole evening to myself. And like so many other events in my life, it didn't take long for things to quickly go awry....


Evelyn and Grace were all bundled up in their cozy winter layers, and Eric was shuffling them out to the car just as the kettle on the stove began to whistle. I skipped into the kitchen to assemble the most delicious cup of hot chocolate I have ever had in my life. I'm not joking, it really was. My recipe: two packets of hot chocolate mix, LOTS of marshmallows, and one smothered peppermint stick buried somewhere in the pillowy puffs of sugar. De-vine.

I knew that I had to work fast. Nursing moms have a built-in radar for when their babies need to eat, and within two short hours Gracie would be calling my name. So as quickly as I could, I raced up and down the basement stairs to bring up all of our unwrapped treasures.

And look what came in!
To find out more about these gifts, click here. 

I am a meticulous gift-wrapper ordinarily. My end product may not always turn out exactly the way I envisioned it, but I try, I really do. And I certainly dream about the exact way I would like our gifts to look under the tree on Christmas morning. The colors must coordinate, the patterns should never clash. It should be whimsical but classy. I know, I know, I'm a little nuts when it comes to Christmas stuff, you'll just have to excuse me. And one thing I love more than anything is sparkly Christmas decor. So I was over the moon when I found the jackpot at Walmart last week.


I know it's hard to tell from the pictures, but this wrapping paper is uber-sparkly. We're talking ruby red slippers sparkly. It was wrapping paper I had always dreamed of. Unfortunately, those dreams would soon turn into nightmares. *Shiver

And I just had to make my own labels for our gifts. Instead of doing "To and From" tags, I opted to just do our girls' initials. And I made one extra large tag for Evie's kitchen set, which won't be wrapped. (Eric, you still need to assemble that thing!) It will be up and ready under the tree with a big bow on top.


So I gathered all of the materials around me and grabbed up the first roll of wrapping paper. I was a little afraid of what would happen next, and my fears turned out to be correct: glitter e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e. Honestly, the moment I walked out of the store with that stuff I had worried about this happening. But I was willing to overlook a little shedding wrapping paper because it was oh-so-cute.

Ha. Not cute. So, so not cute. Ladies (and gentlemen) do not buy glitter wrapping paper. I knew better than this. I really did. I feigned ignorance for the sake of beauty, and it landed me a one way ticket to pain and frustration. Tape does not stick to glitter. No, it does not. And what IGNORAMUS creature would think it was a good idea to make gift wrap out of something that doesn't hold tape?? Well...probably someone who knows people like me will set aside their better judgement because sparkly things attract the eye in the store aisles and turn Christmas-crazed women into kids in the candy store. Sheesh.


Suffice it to say that the only thing holding these gifts together is the ribbon tied around them. And I'm not exaggerating. You can't tell by these pictures alone, but it seriously looks like a kindergartner wrapped the red ones...loads of tape at every seam...wonky, bulging paper...it's horrible. Simply horrible. (And I still have to buy bows. Whoops!)

I spent over half of my allotted time wrapping these first three presents. How frustrating is that? I knew that if I wanted to get my job done that I would have to abandon ship and find some other paper. Luckily, I had half a roll left from wrapping other gifts, and there was one more roll in the basement which I bought after Christmas last year. Unfortunately, that extra paper would totally clash with the rest of my ensemble, but at this point, I really couldn't care. 

My wrapping paper saviors: foil red with snowflakes, and specks of shiny blue.

I thought that wrapping these gifts would be a piece of cake. Most of the toys came in nice, neat square or rectangular boxes. And yes, I do pay attention to this when I'm buying a gift, because if I can't figure out how to wrap it or find a bag big enough to put it in, I usually avoid it altogether. Does this make me a weirdo? Probably.

But one thing I didn't account for was a box missing an edge. Sort of like a box mirage, if you will. Case in point:


The big dent of 2010. Seems that the Weebles Treehouse wasn't so rectangular after all. Miss meticulous is really getting hives this year, let me tell you. But I couldn't take the time to care. By now I was just trying to fly through the presents, because I feared that my family could come strolling through the door at any moment. And by the time I was able to put the last tag on the last gift, my living room looked like a gift wrap factory exploded in it.


Okay, so it wasn't that bad. :) But I had to haul everything back downstairs and clean up in under five minutes. Eric and I had just talked on the phone ten minutes ago about him being back in fifteen. Yikes! I was vacuuming sparkles out of the carpet when they fumbled into the house - Gracie wailing for her mommy, and Evelyn immediately finding the used wrapping paper rolls. I did manage to sneak downstairs to snap a few pictures of all of the gifts together.


Oh, boy. Just what would Martha Stewart say? No bows. Big dents. Crooked patterns. Haha. My need for coordinating paper is giving me the willies, but all in all, I'm not entirely displeased. So what if the gifts aren't perfect? They're just going to be ripped into anyway, right? But gee, I sure do wish that sparkle paper would have worked out. I'm still mesmerized by it. 


You really just need to see it in person! (But don't buy it! Whatever you do...step away from the glitter wrap.)  Whew! That was the most stressful night of peace I've ever had in my life. And do you want to know a little secret? My party of one was...lonely. Imagine that. From the second my family walked out of the door it was eerily quiet in our house, and it kind of gave me the heebie jeebies. I don't honestly think I want to be doing that again anytime soon. I like our family noise, but maybe it took a night on my own to really appreciate it. 

Next year I may just have to get a babysitter and make Eric join me for a party of two. :) But honey, I get full control over what is on the television or what music is playing. You have to embrace my Christmas cheesiness, okay?

And mmm...I'm telling you that hot chocolate was some good stuff. At least one good thing came out of this night!


The End

Haha. 

1 comment:

Kim said...

I think your gifts are very nice. With the exception of the gifts I give to non family members, I quit using bows years ago. They just get smooshed when you have to stack the presents under the tree. Some of the guys' gifts are so big this year, I am doing away with wrapping paper and doing a "bow only." Dan and I usually do a marathon wrapping night the week before Christmas. You are making so many memories. Enjoy! And again thanks for sharing with us.
Kim

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