Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Thanks for the Rope. :)

There are days when the stars align and every crazy idea that I have goes exactly according to plan. And then there are days when absolutely nothing goes the way I want it to. Those days usually end with me feeling inadequate and unattractively asking my husband over and over if he loves me, and searching for some sort of conformation that I've still got it and my entire world is not, in fact, falling apart.

Insecurity sucks.

Well...hormones suck. I think I'm actually less crazy when I'm pregnant. Haha. Hills and valleys, hills and valleys. When I'm on top of a hill I can look down and see all of the insane things I have done in the valley. I laugh at ridiculous things I have said or at the irrational fits of tears that come out of nowhere. But when I'm trudging down in the valley...ugh...it feels like I'm never gonna get out of that darn hole. I look up and I see normalcy up there somewhere, but no matter how hard I try I just ain't gettin there any time soon.

I've been in the valley for a couple of days now. I cannot, for the life of me, explain why. Other than the fact that my body is probably going through some sort of mysterious hormonal voodoo that I don't even know about. Men, you have no idea how easy you have it. I'm sure you say the same about women. The only difference is...we know what we're talking about here. :)

So it's a really good thing I did not try baking an apple pie yesterday. Had I attempted this impossible task here in the valley, I probably would have had a complete meltdown. On the hill, it was funny. In the valley...not so much.

Last week I was craving apple pie in a BAD way. (Should have given me some clues that my body was about to betray me, haha.) But I didn't have a pie crust in the house. I have been warned by many that creating the perfect pie crust from scratch is not for the faint of heart. But I snubbed my nose at the naysayers and started mixing and measuring away, dreaming of cinnamon and sugar and yummy warm apples with a scoop of ice cream on the side. Mmm....


But this is what I got. 


This was the "easy" pie crust recipe, which I followed to a T.


Yeah, that's not going to work. I tried to pat it together. Nope. Tried to roll it out. Hahaha. No.

Eventually I pressed some of the crumbly dough into a pie pan, but there was no way I was going to get a top layer to cover my sugar coated apples. So instead of throwing it all away, I decided to just go ahead and bake what I had in the pan and try to think of something to do with it. This is what I do on the hill. You know...the whole lemons into lemonade thing. I can handle these disappointments - no problem at all. And guess what? Persevering pays off.

As my junk crust was baking into a golden brown in the oven, a lightbulb went off in my head. Chocolate pie. Oh, yes yes yes, please. No top crust required. I threw open the snack cabinet and began a mad search for a box of chocolate pudding. And then, Eureka! I was three cups of milk away from a delicious dessert.


That's when I realized I only had two cups of milk. But I was hillin' it up, so instead of melting into a pile of tears on the floor I thought to myself, Self, let's just use two-thirds of the pudding mix since we only have two-thirds of the milk. High five, self.


It was the perfect amount to fill my flaky crust. I called Eric and told him to pick up some whipped cream on his way home from work, cause we were having dessert baby!



Chocolate pie. Delicious, sweet, gorgeous chocolate pie. That's what you can have when your head is normal and life throws you curve balls. You can have your pie and eat it, too. And it tastes sooo good! Now, several days later, I'm really craving some of that normal pie. :)


But, hey...you know what? This blog - oh my goodness - this blog is my chocolate pie today. Whaddya know? Because last night when I was feeling all kinds of icky about myself I accidentally slipped off to slumberland without putting my fingers to the keyboard. I woke up this morning thinking, Geez...here's one more thing I have to worry about. What in the world will I write about today when I'm feeling so blah? And then I started typing. And here we are.

And after a good morning send off with Eric and my two baby girls, I'm starting to feel like the load is lifting. Praise the Lord, I think someone's throwing me a rope and lifting me out of this blasted valley!

I don't like it down there. It's dark. And scary. And it's in my own head. *Shiver.* So...thank you, blog. You saved my sanity. And thank you, God. You used my blog to save my sanity. Haha. I think it's going to be a pretty great day.

Chocolate pie, anyone?


4 comments:

Sarah said...

I don't think you have the slighest clue of how much hope & encouragement you bring me on a regular basis. We are all so much more alike than different. Thank you just for being YOU. And the pie? Splendid idea, no such thing as a bad pie :)

Adrien said...

And you always have wonderful words to encourage ME! Thanks, Sarah. :) I'm having a great day so far; hope you are, too!

Jeroen and Mirella said...

Nice I love pie! I make myself cake, but with march pain (hope I say it right), I'll post a picture on my blog.

Have a wonderful week with your loved ones

Jeroen and Mirella said...

Thank you so much, i've changed it!
Sometimes I use google translate but it doesn't works like I want too LOL.
English isn't easy...

I go to bed now, it's here now a quarter past ten in the evening, tomorrow is an early day, the children back to school etc.

I wish you a great day, it's six hours time difference?

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