Thursday, September 29, 2011

10 Things Your Kid Should NOT Be For Halloween


I was perusing TLC's website yesterday to catch up on a show that I had missed, when I ran across this little article: "10 Things Your Kid Should NOT Be For Halloween." I was a little scared as my finger hovered over the mouse...should I click it or not? Do I want to know someone else's opinion about what is appropriate and what's not on this sometimes-touchy holiday? Why, yes. Yes, I do. :)

Little did I know that my slight tremors would soon be replaced with complete fits of laughter. As I scrolled through the list, I laughed harder and harder with every suggestion. I mean...seriously. Some of these are so over-the-top obvious that it's both hilarious and sad that someone needs to write an article to "remind" us not to be these things. (Although, I couldn't believe as I was reading the comments that there were parents defending some of these costumes...they had already chosen them for their kids to be this year. To use my favorite word of the week - that's just whackadoodle.)

Let's get ramblin.'

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10. Fidel Castro


"The green fatigues and huge cigar are big tip-offs that your kid is dressed like Fidel Castro...."

Hahaha...I lost it one sentence in. I knew I was going to be in trouble. Best not to dress our children as foreign dictators...check!

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9. Paris Hilton

If someone dresses their six year old daughter up like Paris Hilton to go collect candy...well...they need more help than the gentle advice that this article can offer them.

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8. Michael Jackson

This one made me giggle before I even started reading the reasoning behind it. Though I have to say, Mr. Thriller himself is one of the tamer choices of the bunch. I'm aware of all of the accusations against him, but in my opinion, there are just two words for this costume: Too soon. ;)

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7. Dexter


Um, yuck.  Let's just move on here....

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6. Sex Workers
Sorry, Julia. Had to do it. :)

Really? I mean. Really?? No explanation required. Bahahaha....

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5. Zombies and Vampires

While I don't personally like them, these costumes have been around forever. I'm surprised they made the list considering the other options on the table. :D But I think the point they were making here was to not make things too scary for the littlest ones who will be running around trick-or-treating. And that makes sense to me.

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4. Religious Icons

What, I can't dress my kid up like Jesus? Guess I need to rethink that whole manger scene thing we do at Christmas. I kid! I agree here...I think it would be a little odd to find tiny Christ's running around carrying glow-in-the-dark pumpkins. It would step on people's toes...so it's best to set that one down and walk away slowly....

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3. Suicide Bombers
I highly recommend that you NOT Google suicide bombers...unless you want to see a lot of real detached body parts blown to smithereens. *shudder*

Can I laugh here? Is that okay? (Because I am.) Please, parents. Don't dress your kids as suicide bombers. Duh.

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2. Black Face


As in...the racial degradation of African Americans. In other words, if you happen to be Caucasian and were dead-set on dressing your child as pre-surgery Michael Jackson this year (double whammy), stick to the white gloves and ditch the face paint. It's insulting. ;)

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And the cherry on top:

1. Ku Klux Klan

Do you WANT your child to get beat up? Ay yi yi. Sometimes I forget that these turds still exist. But they do. So let's keep the white hoods and mob mentaility at home. And have a great day.


Whew! I'm so glad I stumbled across this article. We still haven't tracked down Evie's ice cream cone costume in the right size, and I was seriously considering dressing her up as Lindsay Lohan instead. Now I know that "naughty women who use their notoriety for personal gain without any respect for the fact that they're role models for a whole generation of young girls" are completely off limits. Thank you, TLC. Thank you.

If you'd like to see the article for yourself and the full explanations behind each of these choices, check it out right here. Happy Thursday!

5 comments:

Adrien said...

I'm testing out the pop-up window comment thingamabobber. Don't mind me. :)

Angie said...

pop up comment thingamabobber came up! But i am on Firefox- let me try on Internet explorer now.

Angie said...

pop up thingamabober came up on Internet explorer too AND is letting me comment! YAY :)

Katie said...

Bahahaha this made my day. Thanks for that. I knew it was going to be good when I saw Fidel Castro and busted up laughing. And the fact that you called the KKK turds :)

Adrien said...

Yay, glad it's working for you! :D

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